Henry accidentally gets on a bus full of veterans. He sits next to a guy who keeps jerking his head every few seconds. Annoyed, Henry asks, “What’s wrong with you?”
The man replies, “I got this in the war.”
Uncomfortable, Henry changes seats.
The next guy has uncontrollable leg spasms, kicking the seat in front. Henry asks the same question.
“I got this in the war,” the man says.
Henry moves again. The next guy is flailing his hand around. Henry sighs, “Let me guess—you got that in the war?”
The man replies, “No… I got it out of my nose and can’t get it off my hand.”
Three veterans were bragging about their ancestors.
“My great-grandfather was a drummer boy at Shiloh at 13,” one said.
“Mine died with Custer at Little Bighorn,” said another.
The third said, “My great-grandfather would be the most famous man alive today.”
“Why?” they asked.
“Because he’d be 165 years old.”
A lawyer sits next to a drunk in a bar who keeps examining something in his hand.
“Looks like plastic… feels like rubber,” the drunk mumbles.
Curious, the lawyer checks it too. “You’re right. Where’d you get it?”
The drunk replies, “Out of my nose
